On Your Side

Making divorce easier for your children

On Behalf of | Dec 22, 2022 | Divorce

If you share children with your spouse, you will need to take their needs into account during the divorce process. For example, it’s important to stress that they did nothing to cause the end of your marriage and that you will love them no matter what happens between yourself and their other parent. It may also be worthwhile to settle the divorce outside of a New Jersey court if possible.

Potential benefits to mediation

Mediation may be preferable if you have children because it allows you to shield them from the more contentious aspects of a divorce. The terms of any deal reached outside of court are not a matter of public record, which means that your kids will never learn about the structure of a settlement. Furthermore, your kids won’t need to testify or otherwise be present for any given mediation session. Finally, since mediation is a collaborative process, it may be easier to balance grieving the loss of a relationship with your responsibilities as a parent.

Look for signs of distress

Children generally don’t deal with negative emotions in the same way that adults do. Therefore, you shouldn’t expect your kids to come to you when they are feeling sad, angry or depressed. Instead, it would help if you looked for clues that your kids are struggling such as lower grades, withdrawal from social activities or a lack of appetite.

Your child’s doctor may be able to suggest ways to help your son or daughter cope with the divorce, and it may also be helpful to take your child to a mental health professional. There is a strong possibility that your kid will be more willing to open up to a therapist because there is no need to protect that person’s feelings.

Generally speaking, both parents have the right to be there for their kids after a divorce. Therefore, it’s important to make a sincere effort to get through the divorce process in a civil manner. Doing so will likely make it easier to co-parent, which will help your child grow into a functional member of society.