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How to help children adjust after a divorce

On Behalf of | Mar 19, 2020 | Child Custody

For New Jersey estranged parents, it is not inevitable that the divorce will be harmful to their children. While it can be a challenging time, parents can take steps to help ensure that their children have a stable environment and are secure in the love of both of them.

They might wonder whether the divorce is their fault, and parents will need to let them know that this is not the case. Children may also wonder whether they have to choose between their parents. The best way to reassure them is if parents can still spend important occasions together, such as holidays or birthdays. However, even if this is not possible, parents may still need to accept that there will eventually be events that they will have to attend at the same time, such as a child’s wedding.

Children will adjust better if parents are able to agree on rules that are consistent between their households. This can be tough since parents may agree on very little, but if the child is allowed to play a certain video game at one parent’s home and not the other’s or must deal with inconsistent expectations in other ways, it can be confusing. Parents should also allow children to vent about the other parent and remain neutral while helping them work through any problems in the relationship.

Reaching an agreement on child custody and visitation can be one of the hardest parts of a divorce because of the emotions involved, but going to court is not inevitable. Parents are often able to successfully negotiate an agreement with the assistance of their respective attorneys. An attorney may also be helpful if there are later issues with the custody agreement that require modification, such as one parent’s plan to move out of the area.